Finding Your "Glimmers": How to Spot Safety When Anxiety is Loud
If you have anxiety, or if you are raising a teen who does, you are likely an expert on Triggers.
Triggers are cues of danger. They are the things that send our nervous system into "Fight or Flight." A raised voice, a looming deadline, a crowded hallway.
But according to Deb Dana and Polyvagal Theory, the opposite of a trigger is just as important. They are called Glimmers.
What is a Glimmer?
A glimmer is a micro-moment of safety. It’s a cue that tells your nervous system: "You are okay. You can rest."
For neurodivergent brains, which are often wired to scan for danger, we must train ourselves to intentionally scan for glimmers.
The Barn: A Glimmer Factory
The traditional world is full of triggers for my clients. The barn, however, is designed for glimmers. Here are a few we hunt for in our sessions:
Auditory: The rhythmic crunch-crunch-crunch of a horse chewing hay. This is a primal sound of safety (animals don't eat if there is a predator nearby).
Tactile: The velvet softness of a horse’s muzzle.
Olfactory: The smell of sawdust, leather, and pine. Or the wonderful smell of a horse.
Visual: Watching a horse’s ears flick back and forth, listening to you.
The "Glimmer Hunt" Challenge
Anxiety screams, but safety whispers.
This week, I challenge you and your teen to find three glimmers. They don't have to be big. It could be the sun hitting the floor, the smell of coffee, or a cat purring.
When we practice finding glimmers with the horses, we are building a neural pathway. We are teaching the brain that even in a chaotic world, safety is available if we know where to look.
